Tag Archives: fightwrite answers

How Adrenaline Affects the Perception of Pain

I hope this isn’t a silly question… Is it possible to be stabbed and not notice it immediately? It doesn’t matter if it’s in an extreme condition or not.

Yeah, it happens. Same thing with getting shot or other minor injuries. An adrenaline rush dulls your ability to feel pain, and it’s frighteningly easy for someone to suffer mortal injuries during a fight and not realize it.

This is why you see characters depicted checking themselves for wounds. This is sometimes played for laughs, but it is a practical behavior. If you’ve just escaped from someone attacking you with a knife, (or getting shot at), you need to know if you have an injury you’re not aware of.

This also happens with minor cuts or bruises. Those are less important, and you’re much less likely to notice them in the moment. (Actually, you won’t notice bruises in the moment, because it takes a few minutes for a bruise to fully form.) But you’re unlikely to identify the injury until after the adrenaline wears off.

I’ll do you one better, I remember the hit that caused the scar on my index finger. I wasn’t under an adrenaline rush, and I barely felt it. Initially, I thought the blade hadn’t connected, as it was just a white line and looked kind of like a welt. Then, after a few seconds, it started bleeding.

So, yes it is entirely possible to suffer a slash or stab from a knife and not realize the severity, or that it even happened. This is especially true if you’re in a life threatening situation, and are experiencing an adrenaline rush or intoxicated.

Technically you should feel the hit, but without an associated pain response, you could easily miss it.


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How we Select the Questions we Answer

Hi! I was just wondering if you answered most of your asks or if there was a general time span for how long it takes to answer one? I totally get if you don’t want to answer something and I really don’t want to be like that person or anything, but I know sometimes tumblr doesn’t send right and the other person never gets it. I also don’t want to like resend something a bunch of times and bother you (I love your blog, it’s super helpful), so I just thought I’d ask since I didn’t see an faq (1/2)

(2/2) anywhere and figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. I hope y’all are having a great day!! And I hope this doesn’t come off as impatient or rude or anything, I don’t mean it like that. Thanks for all you do!! 🙂

The short answer is, we try, but only about 40% of questions get answered. The slightly longer version of this is that there are currently ~4700 questions in our inbox, and we’ve published ~2250 posts over the years. (At present, I think the actual percentage of questions that get answered may be a bit lower.)

As for turnaround, it tends to be within a few weeks, but most of what happens is a choke point on available time. I would love to be able to go back to 2015, when we had the time to pump out multiple answers in a day, but unfortunately, that’s not an option right now.

There’s a little bit more to this, and it comes down to scheduling issues, and content.

So, when we get a question, there’s a few considerations that we need to weigh:

The question needs to land in a sweet spot between too vague and too specific. If a question is too vague, it may not be possible to offer a valuable answer. You’ll see the edge of this in our published posts, sometimes, when I end up offering multiple, mutually exclusive, potential answers because I’m simply missing too much information, and I’m making an educated guess at what the person wanted to know.

The alternative is, some very general questions will get a more abstract article. For example, “what would be the best weapon for my character?” is way to vague to answer definitively, though we have written articles off of questions like that about how you pick weapons for your characters.

When a question is far too specific, it’s likely to be ignored, simply because it’s not going to offer anything useful for others. For example, if you’re the one asking about a fight between a 7″1′ and a 4″6′, “not quite humans,” I don’t really see that getting answered. (Though in that case, it actually lands outside the spectrum on both sides, because it is both too vague, and specific, for us to offer much meaningful commentary.) To the person who sent that ask, I’m sorry, we can’t really do anything with that.

There’s also a subset of questions that run a high risk of getting passed over, where someone will ask how their fight scene would look. This has two problems, the first is the specificity above, and the second one is that you probably don’t want us publicly laying out a fight scene for you. Michi sometimes posts snippets of her fiction on here, as a general rule, I do not. But, as a writer, you don’t want someone else writing scenes for you. Especially writers with well developed personal styles.

Finally, it probably goes without saying, but the occasional trolls. MRAs, and the odd death threat don’t usually get responses. There are rare exceptions where we’ll slap one of them around, though usually only when we can make it both informative and entertaining.

Normally, we post three times a week: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Patrons get to see a draft version the day before on Discord, so Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Michi has been working a full time job for the last few years, and that’s why her posts have become far more infrequent. She simply does not have the time to get posts up, and do her own writing, and work an 8 hour day job with two additional hours on the road each day.

In late August, Michi’s previous job fired her with basically no warning. That’s part of why you saw more posts from her in September, while she was looking for a new position, and also why my posts have been more inconsistent this month, as I’m having to help with her commute, and that means I’m on the road right when I’d usually be working on these posts.

As a result, a lot of questions fall through the cracks.

If you think Tumblr ate a question, you’re not bothering us if you resend it. In fact, there have been a few questions that we know Tumblr ate over the years.

While I realize we need to update the Patreon reward tiers to better represent what you’re getting, the basic Discord access does have a private inbox, (it’s a separate text channel on the server), and we do make a point of responding to those questions on the same or next day. It’s a bit different from what you’ll see on the blog, because it tends to be more of a discussion about the topic, rather than a mini-essay. It also means some of the issues like a question being too vague or too specific isn’t a problem. It’s not being written for a larger audience, so it can be far more direct.

Normally I use a boilerplate for our Patreon plug below the signature, but, to our patrons, you guys have really helped keep us going, and I’m especially conscious, and thankful for that. Especially given how tight things have been for everyone over the last couple years. Also, most of our Patreon fulfillment is via the discord server, so if you’re a Patron, and not on that server, check out the official feed, and link up with the bot to get an invite.

If you have a question that’s time sensitive, or extremely unique, it’s probably better to get in contact on the Discord server. However, because that’s paygated, I fully understand why that may not be an option for you (or others.)


A Friendly Little Stabbing

So we know that there’s no 100% non-fatal or “safe” place in/on the body to shoot someone. (That one scene in the first Divergent book where Tris shoots someone in the shoulder to get him to reveal information without killing him makes me cringe every time) What about stabbing? Where is the “least fatal” place to be stabbed, if there is any at all?

Very lightly.

Okay, so, deep penetration has a very high likelihood of hitting something you need to continue functioning. Again, getting stabbed in the torso is worse than the limbs, though this does depend on exactly what gets cut.

Your bones are slightly better at handling an object trying to impale you than stopping bullets, which isn’t saying much, but it can stop a light blade if you’re lucky.

Cuts to the limbs are less likely to be life threatening, and your arteries are somewhat better shielded against slicing and cutting trauma. That said, if someone drives a knife into your inner thigh, you’re (probably) already dead.

The rule of thumb I was introduced to is, “three inches,” if the strike goes deeper than that, it’s probably going to hit something vital. Also, it occurs to me, that does nicely cover most places where you’re not likely to suffer a vital hit. For example, you can get stabbed through the hand with minimal risk to your life (though, you are going to lose the use of that hand, at least, until it heals.)

That’s a larger problem you should remember. The muscles on your body are not (as a general rule) vital to your continued breathing, however, they are necessary to move and function. So, if you get a deep gash on your upper arm, it won’t kill you, but it will impair or weaken some direction of movement as those muscles are responsible for controlling your limb.

The real danger with stabbing is (usually) blood loss, and the further the injury is from your core, the lower the risk of bleeding out. Again, taking a hit to an artery will end you, and this can even happen on your wrists (though the bleedout will generally take longer, as the volume loss per second will be lower.) The nature of the cut matters, because in some cases it’s relatively easy to staunch the blood flow. As with gunshot wounds, the lethality of a given injury isn’t really about how “lethal,” it is, it’s more about how quickly you’ll lose blood.

There is an interesting caveat with getting stabbed or impaled: Do not remove the intruding object unless you absolutely have to. If someone gets stabbed do not pull the knife out. In some situations, the blade (or other object) will be preventing further blood loss, and pulling it out can be fatal. I’ve been told this is especially true of situations where someone’s been run through with rebar, to the point that it’s actually better to cut away the rebar if possible and bring it along, as the texture is exceptionally good at digging into the wound and limiting bleeding. (Obviously, cutting rebar for transport to a hospital is going to require construction or other lifesaving equipment, and not exactly a do-it-yourself solution.) The result of this caveat is, you can take a knife to the chest without dying, so long as the knife stays where it landed.

As with getting shot, there isn’t a great place to get stabbed, but it can be survivable if you can get medical attention before the blood loss is fatal.


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God of War’s Thor: More Realistic Than I Expected

I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Thor design from GoW. I don’t mind it but I was wondering if it was true that he’s the “peak of male performance” because he looks like a powerlifter. Would being that big make him a better warrior?

So, this was actually more realistic than I expected. My recollection was just the very difficult to make out version that appears in a single cutscene of 2018’s God of War, and Raf Grassetti, the art director for both GoW 2018, and GoW: Ragnarok has published preview art of Thor from the sequel.

The fat isn’t a problem. We tend to associate fat with physical inactivity, but, you will see fat like this develop on people who are highly active, depending on their diet and environment. The overall development is consistent with someone who engages in wild levels of physical activity on a regular basis. My biggest gripe is just hand size, and that’s more of a nitpick, probably informed by game design, (so it makes sense, and is a reasonable concession.)

Mjolnir’s proportions are still a little goofy in comparison to real weapons, but, it is a mythical artifact forged by the Dwarves, so, it’s not like this is a real complaint. Just something to keep in mind if you want to give a warhammer to a mortal character. This is nearly universal with how Mjolnir is presented in visual media, so it’s fair that’s a trait unique to the artifact (even if there’s no mythological support for that interpretation.)

I’m pleasantly surprised that they gave Thor his correct hair color. We tend to get a lot of stuff influenced by Stan Lee’s version of the character, but in Norse myth, Thor’s a redhead, with a massive beard. (Ironically, Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla screws up this detail as well, giving Thor a dirty blond beard and hair.) There’s a little irony here, the Marvel version of Thor, actually looks more like his wife, Sif; who was remembered for her golden blonde hair.

The mythical figure is known for his “firm muscles,” but that layer of fat can easily mask a very solid physique. If you’re really wanting a contextual justification, a layer of fat to protect against the cold would have been an easily understandable to the people originally telling these stories.

What you’re looking at is someone who can operate in extremely cold climates. Probably skip meals for days at a time without it seriously affecting them. And, to quote someone from that Twitter thread, “goes up into the mountains and wrestles bears.” Though, given this is Thor we’re talking about, it’s more like he goes up into the mountains and beats giants to death.

This is not the chiseled physique of someone thirty minutes away from fainting because they dropped all their water weight to look good. This is the body of someone who works (or fights) for a living, and built up a lot of mass from that activity.

I don’t know where you’re getting the, “peak of male performance,” line, but, in general, yeah, if he were human, and engaging in the insane feats attributed to Thor, that’s roughly what you would expect him to look like. (If we ignore pesky details like death from alcohol poisoning.) It doesn’t make him a better warrior on its own, but it does mean he’s probably going to arrive in good condition and ready to fight (pretty much) wherever he goes, and that is a massive boon.

I wouldn’t jump to the, “you may not like it, but this is peak performance,” meme but that is a very plausible presentation.


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Spellswords, Believability and Understanding how to use Powerful Characters

maybe a stupid question but how would i write a believable ‘spellsword’? without making my character overpowered

So, “believable,” and “overpowered,” are two entirely different, independent, considerations. You can easily have one without the other, and while the former is probably necessary, the latter is not, depending on the kind of story you’re telling.

Believability is contextual to your audience. Do they believe in your character? Do they accept that your character is who they say they are? This can get significantly more complicated if your character isn’t being honest with the audience, though that is a more advanced concept.

At its simplest level, “believable,” simply asks if it’s plausible that your character could be who they say they are. If spellswords are accepted as a part of your world (even if they’re somewhat rare), a spellsword will trend towards believable. If they are fundamentally impossible, (either because magic is understood to be a fantasy, or some fundamental element of spellcasting conflicts with martial combat) then they will be less believable (at least, initially.)

Similarly, how your character views the world is a serious consideration for believability. If you have a character who’s been formally educated in magic, then that knowledge will shape their understanding of how it works. If magic is uncommon, your spellsword would have an unusual understanding of how magic really works, when encountering magic during their travels. This would likely set them apart from other characters, who have no formal education on the subject.

Similarly, someone with a martial background will have a more practical understanding of waging warfare. Either, on a direct blade to blade, level, or (if they’re formally educated) at a more strategic level.

So, can a Spellsword be believable? Yes, absolutely. They can operate as a bridge between martial and arcane training, with a unique viewpoint of the world they exist in. Depending on how they fit into your world, they could easily have held military rank, or operated as a liaison between the military command and it’s battlemage corps.

Alternately, it’s quite possible they never ascended that far, or even graduated without actually joining the military (for whatever reason.) It’s possible they served in an organization tasked with protecting less militant mages, they may have worked as a mercenary, or any number of other jobs that would benefit from being able to fight, while also being able to cast magic. In a setting with freelance adventurers, spellswords are a natural fit.

So, it’s entirely possible for a spellsword to be believable, if your setting permits their existence in the first place.

Now, here’s the harder part of the discussion, “overpowered,” characters aren’t a problem, until they are.

“Overpowered,” is often a problem in games. I don’t just mean video games, ironically it’s probably a bigger problem in tabletop roleplaying, than in video games.

Ironically, the conflict between these two can give some pretty clear insights into how much you need to worry about this.

In a tabletop roleplaying environment, the gamemaster (whatever their actual title) needs to balance the experience for the players present. Most, quality, roleplaying rulebooks will devote some time to discussing this, and offering their insights on the subject.

The simplest reduction would be, you have multiple people at the table, and so your story needs to include all of them to a (roughly) equal degree.

In a game where you only need to worry about one player, they can be the focus. Concerns about being overpowered only relate to how it influences the experience of that player, and many, many, games heavily tilt the odds in the player’s favor, and the player character in an RPG being, “the chosen one,” has been a meme for decades.

How does this apply to writing?

Simple. As in games, “overpowered,” is a relative statement. A character is overpowered, when they’re mismatched to their place in the story and the challenges they face.

If your character is facing opposition that legitimately threatens them, then they’re not overpowered. If they’re carving through cannon fodder enemies without repercussions, then they may be a bit overpowered for that challenge.

Ironically, there is a similar element here. The danger of an overpowered character in a game is that the player will get bored. The danger of an overpowered character in a story is that the audience will get bored. There are deeper differences in how and why that happens, but there is still some similarity. If the character is too powerful, the outcome is preordained, and the experience itself is dulled. This leads into one of the most challenging elements of overpowered characters.

The problem with an overpowered character isn’t that they’re overpowered; it’s that you need to work harder to keep them interesting.

A character who is balanced against the threats they’ll face has to constantly work for every victory. In theory (though, not always in practice) that gives you a base degree of interest in the events that are unfolding. If the outcome is uncertain, the audience is less likely to tune out.

Similarly, repeating the same encounters will have diminishing returns. If your character dispatched three bandits in the previous chapter, will three or four really pose that much of a threat now? Remember, the threshold on a character being overpowered is whether the outcome is uncertain.

One solution is to introduce uncertainty into the environment. By, “environment,” I don’t literally mean the space the characters are fighting in, though that is an option; instead I’m talking about the general social space around the character. A character who is disproportionately powerful can still be interesting if they’re trying to expose a conspiracy lead by people on their own level, if they’re wrestling with the philosophical implications of their own nigh-omnipotence, or any number of other potential challenges, that extend well beyond what they’re dealing with. In a reverse, an egregiously overpowered character may struggle to hide their true nature from the people around them (a sub-plot that has been run into the ground by superhero writers over the years.)

An overpowered character isn’t, automatically a problem, but they can be more difficult to work with. Having said that, this may not be an issue for you. While your spellsword may be more dangerous than an individual fighter, they’re probably less magically adept than a mage who focused on their arcane education. Meaning they fit into a very specific niche between normal melee fighters, and dedicated magic practitioners, along with other specialized magic practitioners, like whatever you chose to name your stealth/magic specialists.

The hard part is making sure your character is believable. After that, power is what you make of it, if your character feels too powerful, they may just need more powerful foes to challenge them.


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The Self-Delusion of “Good in a ‘Real Fight'”

Hii how are you both? I like your blog’s tips as a fan of fantasy fiction, but I thought you could answer a real-life question. I do HEMA (im not good at it but its good fun!) and something comes up every now and then that i thought you could weigh in on with more authority.

Theres a big guy who isnt the best, but whose refrain is that he would win in a real fight since he wouldnt be holding back. He says its not a gender thing, just a size thing.

Since everyone has to hold back so we dont injure each other (and we still get plenty of bruises) he’s right, it’s an artificial environment.

Does he have a point that everyone’s restraint disadvantages big guys more, or is he being a bit of a poor sport?



He’s deluding himself, in a variety of ways.

Generally speaking, size doesn’t help, especially not in armed combat. It just means you’re a larger target for your foe’s weapon. Sword combat isn’t about being bigger and stronger than your opponent, it’s about opening your foe up and filleting them.

It’s important to remember that being bigger does not make you tougher, and no theoretical biological advantage makes you tougher than steel.

The entire point of using a blade is cutting your foe, not bludgeoning them. The emphasis here is to point out that you do not mindlessly hack away with a sword, trying to brute force your way through your foe’s armor, you look for openings and either slice through them, or thrust through them.

Now, if you’re using blunted edges, it is true that he could cause some misery if he didn’t hold back. However, that’s true for pretty much anyone in your group. You’re not competing to hurt one another.

Even with blunt weapons, like warhammers, maces, or mauls, you’re not relying on your strength, you’re using the inertia of the weapon to cause harm, so being a big guy still doesn’t offer any real advantage there.

Guys like this aren’t uncommon. They’re convinced that they’d be good in “a real fight.” In actual combat they would, inevitably, go down with the first hit, and then whine about how the fight wasn’t fair (if they survive.)

This is may be a bitter pill, and I’m not judging you for this, but there isn’t a single member of your group that would be okay in a real swordfight. The defect is in HEMA, not in you. HEMA, like many martial arts, is a revived art. This means, at some point in the past, the last person who was properly trained in your combat style died without passing that knowledge on. Someone in the 20th Century found surviving training manuals and manuscripts and did their best to rebuild the martial art from scratch.

This isn’t a case where the best techniques survived and have been codified, instead the only filter on which techniques survived is which texts survived the following centuries.

More than that, we know our reconstruction is wrong (or at least, incomplete.) We know this because of Polish Crosscutting. Unlike HEMA, this is not a revived art. It was (at least partially) preserved. It does a number of things that HEMA preaches against, and it decimates HEMA practitioners in competitive bouts. To be clear, Polish Crosscutting is not some incredibly effective set of sword techniques, it’s just better preserved than HEMA.

The end result is, our understanding of Historical European Martial Arts is extremely limited, with serious gaps. Against someone who actually knew what they were doing, any one of you would be screwed. And that’s not the point of the exercise.

This is going to somewhat duplicate the previous point, but, as you said, you’re training recreationally. This is for fun, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, if you’re training recreationally, or for sport, you are not training to use your skills in, “real,” combat. Again, you’ll find guys who are studying other recreational or sports martial arts and hold that up as their ability to handle themselves in “a real fight,” and they’re also deluding themselves.

If you want to train for combat, you train to kill people, not to, “fight.” It’s not fun, it’s not recreational, you’re not doing it to prove you can fight. It’s about ending another person’s life as efficiently as possible.

The idea of, “a fair fight,” (or in this case, “a real fight,”) is an illusion. It’s actively dangerous to both participants. In a real life or death, situation you’d want to take him out in as few strikes as possible. Realistically, we’re talking about ending his life in less than a second. Ideally, before his brain even realizes he’s in combat, and can react, though that’s bit harder to do reliably. If he is aware he’s in danger, neutralize his weapon, then end him. Again, the goal is for combat to be over in under five seconds. That probably won’t happen, but it should give you an idea of just how fast this would need to be. The longer you’re in combat, the greater the risk of you taking a hit, and in real combat, that’s a risk you cannot afford to take. Any injury means you’re at a disadvantage when you’re facing your next foe.

Killing someone is an entirely different discipline from recreational martial arts (and even from competitive sport combat.) If you train to kill people, you’re ready to kill people. If you train to have fun, you are not. If you’re in a real fight with real weapons, you’re not fighting to, “win,” you’re looking to end your foe.

To be fair, he may not be a poor sport about this. He probably, genuinely believes he can take any one of you. But, if he believes it’s because, “he’s holding back,” and he’s not one of the better duelists, yeah, he would not survive.


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The Problems With Being Defensive

Um, sorry..I did kinda mean to be a bit defensive due to your posts about impractical attire. I was afraid you’d think I was purposely going for putting characters in nice skirts/dress and fight and it being impractical and respond as you would someone for giving characters boob plate armour or something. So, I was simply reassuring you that no, I’m not trying to use improper fighting attire, just how they’re dressed.

You don’t need to apologize, but it is something you want to be conscious of, and careful about. When you get defensive over your work, you’re letting everyone know that there’s a problem with it, and you’re not confidant about it. It can also mean, you don’t get an answer to the question you’re looking for.

Without going back and reviewing every post we’ve written on impractical attire, I’m pretty sure the general thrust was a condemnation of authors objectifying, and sexing up, their characters. For example: putting fighters in stiletto heels. This can come from someone genuinely not understanding that clothes can impair a character’s ability to fight, or it can be from someone who prioritizes sex appeal over functionality.

The thing is, (hopefully) neither of these apply to you. So, there was no reason to get defensive, though I can certainly understand the anxiety.

There’s two major reasons I caution against this.

First, it is a cue that you’re worried (consciously or not) that there’s a weakness in your material. When you put material out there, you will be attacked. Anything you write, which draws attention, will draw criticism. When you’re dealing with people who simply want to tear you down, that defensiveness is practically a dinner bell.

That’s why I advised you to get ahead of the potential criticism. If you realize you feel defensive about a point, make sure you identify why, and close off those potential attacks.

When you’re writing, and expect to receive push back, it’s a good idea to think about the kinds of arguments you expect. You can actually see that behavior in many of my posts. I’ll frequently take a second to carve out exceptions, or preemptively cut off counter arguments, that I expect someone to raise. In many cases, I am already controlling the kinds of critique I can receive.

For example, if you were worried about being attacked for your characters dressing inappropriately, you could have written:

How would wearing a dress or skirt hinder combat? My characters are attending a formal event when they’re ambushed.

It’s a small difference, but it has a huge effect on how the question is perceived. If you were worried about what I thought of you, then it addresses that fear, and it also explains exactly what you’re looking for, with more detail than the original question offered.

It’s not incredibly important, but a “this/that” structure can also be a nervous tick. It’s probably better to write, “this or that,” or, just commit to a specific term. Slashing can be useful in rare situations, and it’s not something most readers will pick up on (unless you overuse it), but commit to a word. (This may go out the window during drafting, when you’re trying out multiple words and haven’t settled on one. At that point it would be entirely reasonable to write down any alternative you want to play with, before you commit. But, don’t show that to someone else.)

This is the second reason that getting defensive, even preemptively, can be a problem. You’re focusing on one issue, and, that cut off useful information. If you’d said the context of your character being in a dress or skirt was a formal event, I would have focused on how formal attire frequently interferes with movement, how it’s often better to simply abandon high heels, than continue to fight in them, and how, men’s formal attire restricts movement as well. I may have spent some time discussing how fighting in formal garb will probably damage it. Instead I talked about kilts, which probably wasn’t that useful for you.

You will find people who will attack you, and your work. There’s no escaping that. When that happens, it’s important to remember that they have no power over you. Their, “criticism,” doesn’t invalidate your work.

It’s also a good practice to become aware of things you’re sensitive about in your work, as a diagnostic tool. If criticism of something bothers you, there might be a problem there, and you may want to focus on shoring it up (however that works out.) Remember that your goal, as a writer, is to communicate clearly and efficiently; everything after that is style and poetry. There’s no place for, “but, you don’t understand,” make your reader understand the first time.

Have confidence in your work. I know this can be harder than it sounds, but when you believe in it, it shows.


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Q&A: Martial Arts, Any Age, Anytime

Anonymous asked:

This is less a writing question and more a “your blog has awakened something in me” question. I’m 31, hideously unfit, and also a wimp. I also have a longstanding interest in martial arts that I’ve never pursued due to aforementioned poor fitness and wimpy nature. Am I kidding myself by thinking I could learn a martial art? Am I better off simply enjoying it as a spectator, or is it worth finding a class?

It’s never too late!

People can start martial arts at any age. The littles (ages five to seven) are the most common in the vast majority of martial arts schools because their parents are looking for afterschool activities, but plenty of people start in their twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, even eighties, and beyond. One of my testing partners, Dave, started doing martial arts in his early fifties as an activity to do with his kids, and continued long after they quit. Last time, I checked in with him, he’d earned his fourth degree black belt and was a part time instructor at our dojo. One year, there was an eighty year old cancer survivor who got her black belt. And, during my third degree test, my regular practice partner was a woman in her forties who was recovering from a stroke. Any age, any time.

Most martial arts instructors who run martial arts schools actually came to martial arts in their early twenties to thirties. There aren’t that many professionals in the US who began their training as a little. That’s because the US doesn’t have an established family dynasty system, and you have a better ability to choose your passions as an adult rather than as a child. 

The important thing to remember when you’re starting martial arts is that you get out what you put in and it takes time to become good. There is no end to the journey, and the journey to really get a grip on yourself can take years. (My view is a little skewed because the vast majority of my martial training took place while my body was developing, so it took a lot longer to get out of the awkward phase.) Everything about developing flexibility and endurance takes time, exercise can often feel embarrassing, silly, and even stupid. The goal is to not give up and keep coming back. Nobody is Jet Li or Jackie Chan on their first day. (Not even Jet Li and Jackie Chan.) If you see kids half your age doing incredible things on your first day, it’s important to remember they’ve been practicing for years.

I was an extremely shy and wimpy kid when I started. When I was between the ages of six and seven, I was so embarrassed about showing up late that I’d sometimes just hide in the changing room and refuse to come out. (My parents were the only ones who ever actually teased me about it, btw.) By my senior year of high school, I was an extremely chill and confident third degree black belt. Practicing martial arts is a great way to help you challenge and overcome your fears and build your confidence. If you don’t give up, the biggest blocks you’ll tear down are the ones you built in your own mind.

If you are interested in martial arts, it is absolutely 100% worth it to find a class in your local area. Just keep in mind, you may need to go through several schools before you find a martial art and a school that’s a good fit. There are so many different ones out there and most will give you the option of free first classes to get your feet wet. If one isn’t a good fit, don’t give up! Do your research and find another in your area. Training is about trust, you’ll get further with a teacher and a community you jive with.

These schools will also, usually, have classes later in the evenings that are a better fit for adults scheduling around their jobs.

Remember, martial arts schools are a really low stress environment. You’ll have fun, connect with other humans, and learn important lessons that will positively impact every part of your life. Also, if you’re a writer, it’s hugely helpful to get experience for writing those battle scenes. Really, I can’t recommend good schools with positive teachers enough.


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We See These Misogynistic Idiots in Our Inbox Occasionally

Anonymous asked:

not to sound like a prey animal on main but i feel like too many people, men and women both, do not actually understand the extent of the strength difference between men and women. it is actually surprisingly easy for a man to kill a woman, in fact it can be done accidentally

The only people who deny it are either blinded by ideology, or have never wrestled with someone of the opposite sex. I had a girlfriend who was extremely athletic, but had only ever played on all-female teams, and her little brothers were very young so she could throw them around. I’m 6’ 4″, and she honestly thought she could hold her own against me.

When I was fifteen, I had a boyfriend who was extremely athletic, but had only ever played against all-male teams. His sport of choice was soccer and his legs were very strong, so he liked to run around kicking other guys in the groin to resolve disputes. (Sorry, Tumblr, he did not turn out to be gay.) One day, we were hanging out at my house and he decided to hug me from behind. I didn’t realize he was behind me, caught his arms moving in my peripheral vision, and nailed him in the solar plexus with my elbow. I did it automatically, just trained instinct. He bowled over, coughing, for a good minute, and continued coughing for roughly five minutes after that. After I determined he was, in fact, okay, I giggled because it was really, rather funny.

We broke up shortly after that. Fifteen year old me figured my body had the right idea about him. The only difference between my incident and yours is I’d been doing Taekwondo since I was six and had plenty of experience working with the opposite sex. I didn’t apply this singular experience of momentarily paralyzing a young man’s diaphragm as a weakness to all men everywhere.

We get MRAs like you every so often on this blog and, honestly, the only men who are wrapped up in the biological/physical differences in male bodies versus female bodies are the ones deeply insecure in their own masculinity. I encourage you to work on coming to terms with yourself and building your confidence in healthy ways outside of comparisons to others. Truly I do, because there are aspects of your ask which are supremely fucked up. We’re going to go over what you said in detail. Not for your benefit, but for the benefit of others.

“not to sound like a prey animal on main”

You sent this on anon. Maybe this is a Reddit thing, but your name isn’t attached so only you will ever experience the full embarrassment of trying to litigate your break-up with a complete stranger.

i feel like too many people, men and women both, do not actually understand the extent of the strength difference between men and women. 

This isn’t “too many people.” This is about your ex-girlfriend. If you’re trying to AITA this shit, I can tell you, in no uncertain circumstances, yes, YTA. (You’re The Asshole, for those of readers who don’t hang in that subreddit.) 

In the real world, not only do most people genuinely believe there’s a greater strength difference than men and women than actually exists, but they don’t realize that after a specific threshold natural advantages (whatever natural advantages exist and different body types have different advantages) cease to make a real difference. Physical strength is one of those. The general population actually puts too much importance on “natural advantages” over training and practice. That happens when people fail to grasp their own ignorance. (People, perhaps unironically, like the person who sent this ask.)I’ve done martial arts for most of my life, strength differences don’t matter to me because I know how to nullify my opponent’s strength. Violence is a lot more complicated than strength v. strength, and also a lot simpler. Force isn’t generated by the upper body alone and force application has nothing to do with the size of a person’s biceps or what they can lift. If flat strength mattered, bodybuilding would be more than cosmetic. The reality is bodybuilders struggle to draw bows. The reason for this ignorance is simple, as most cops will tell you, most people haven’t been in a fight since high school (if they’ve ever been in a fight at all.) This results in a skewed perspective in a society that already trains a skewed perspective on the gender divide from birth. Gender roles are socially manufactured, sorry.

In the professional field, nobody talks about strength because (surprise!) strength doesn’t actually matter. Martial combat is all about learning to utilize the advantages of your own body while stripping your opponent of theirs. You fight with the body you have. Want to fight? Learn to work with what you’ve got. On a practical level, that’s the end of the discussion. The rest is semantics.

Women do martial arts. They practice against men and women. That’s the end.

“it is actually surprisingly easy for a man to kill a woman, in fact it can be done accidentally”

I know this is going to come as a shock, but it is surprisingly easy to kill anyone accidentally. That’s a human thing. While you may feel otherwise, society actually labels women as acceptable targets for masculine aggression and so they are more likely to be on the receiving end from an abusive partner. This doesn’t mean women aren’t abusers, some are, and the treatment of women by society at large means even fewer female abusers get recognized. Male violence against women is unfortunately common. That doesn’t make women weaker. In fact, it gets us into a discussion about societal training and victim blaming for confirmation bias that I don’t feel like getting into.

I’m really hoping you didn’t accidentally kill your ex though. The fact you chose to include this line in your ask is pretty telling about where your mental state is.

“The only people who deny it are either blinded by ideology.”

People who know what they’re talking about don’t deny it, they say it doesn’t matter if you know what you’re doing. That’s the difference. However, this line is pure projection. You are blinded by your own ideology. I know this because you came here to argue with me, a third degree black belt who did martial arts for thirteen years. You didn’t stop and consider that my lived experience regarding this subject might be slightly more extensive than yours. Also, you’re relying on confirmation bias to support your point.

Your ideology as expressed in the ask you’ve submitted gears itself toward denying that any natural advantages exist outside of those gifted by size and the upper body’s musculature. Which is, sadly, incorrect. Biologically, it is true that male and female bodies aren’t the same. Historically, in Western countries, we haven’t truly explored the advantages gifted by female bodies, we know remarkably little about female bodies in general. This is largely due to the fact that society is geared toward maintaining male as default. Science knows more about how to give you an erection than it does my period.

However, the gap isn’t as massive as some would like to believe. Different isn’t less.

There are quite a few countries outside the West where the concept of women fighting isn’t alien, or even up for debate. Their history is filled with female rulers, female politicians and power brokers, women going into battle, and practicing martial arts. They’ve even founded martial arts. Europe’s is too, they’re just a little more difficult to locate.

“Women can’t fight” is a cultural invention. Pop culture still largely supports a majority white male default, but that isn’t reality.

“or have never wrestled with someone of the opposite sex.”

Your only example for this is limited to a singular instance, so we’re going to take this with a grain of salt. I can tell you’ve never wrestled with anyone who knows what they’re doing because you put way too much importance on height, specifically being taller than your opponent. Height is actually a detriment against someone who knows how to manipulate it into a particular disadvantage, one that gives an advantage to the biologically female body, we’ll get to that in a second.

Female martial artists regularly practice against men, usually men of all ages because there just aren’t enough participants to break down evenly by sex/gender. If they start young, they’ve been practicing against larger opponents for most of their life. (The same is true for young boys too.)

“I had a girlfriend who was extremely athletic,”

So, being athletic doesn’t mean jack shit. That’s true for both genders. The type of muscles you develop heavily depends on the type of sports you do. In addition, the vast majority of people are completely reliant on their upper body. The upper body strength contest is where men have a natural advantage, they’re better at building muscles in the upper body where women build up muscle more quickly in their core and their legs. Depending on how tall the man in question is, he’ll also start with a leverage advantage. He’s going down, while his shorter opponent is going up.

Both these advantages are nullified by martial arts and completely non-existent against someone who practices wrestling. I don’t mean “wrestling” as in grabbing someone and hauling them around the yard, or professional wrestling which involves professional stuntmen performing choreographed fights, I mean wrestling the sport. This will be covered in the grappling side of martial arts like jiu-jitsu, judo, etc.

Anyone who practices wrestling will perk up when you say, “I’m 6”4” and rub their hands with glee. They all know it’s the short wiry fucks you’ve got to watch out for.

Glee was my response at hearing about your height, by the way.

“but had only ever played on all-female teams, and her little brothers were very young so she could throw them around.”

I find it hilarious that you and your ex engaged in the exact same tactics when it came to the fake wrestling and you came away thinking there was a real difference between you. All your anecdote proved was two humans engage in the same natural behavior. Which is why we tell our that training matters. Neither you nor your ex have any idea about how to utilize your lower body or attack your opponent’s center of balance. Or, you know, leverage. That’s completely normal for untrained people.

In comparison, every one of my boyfriends except Starke have all failed to hold on to me in any meaningful fashion. I had an ex who always tried to playfight and pin in bed. Did it work? No. The answer to this one isn’t strength, it’s knowledge and technique. I know how to grapple and practice wrist releases, he didn’t. I don’t need to be stronger when I can be bendy and slippery instead. There’s no need to force anything.

“I’m 6’ 4″, and she honestly thought she could hold her own against me.”

So, let me explain what happened with your ex. She played sports, which is a confidence builder, especially if you’re good at it, and she’s gotten a lot of dopamine hits from adrenaline. Adrenaline makes you feel good, it makes you feel strong and tough. Both built an overweening sense of confidence that ultimately proved false. That’s a human thing, not a gender/sex thing. This happens all the time to men too. Plenty of guys who scrap in high school think they know how to fight. They don’t. Hell, in the scenario provided, she’s not any different from my high school ex who liked to kick other guys in the balls. He only kind of knew how to use his legs because soccer, and only in the way soccer taught him. (His kicks were cringe.)

Height is physically intimidating to most people, but only because they haven’t spent most of their life physically tackling taller people. The irony is that tall people have a whole slew of disadvantages that make them more easy to deal with than humans of average size or those who are short. In male bodies, the center of gravity is higher due to hip position. The center of gravity in biologically female bodies is lower, meaning they have an easier time maintaining their balance. 

Taller people have to get much lower to the ground to maintain stability, they’re easier to knock over, destabilize, and throw. Their limbs are also longer which makes it much easier to perform joint breaks. Humans with high levels of muscular definition provide you with visual lines straight to all their pressure points. Pressure points are more difficult to locate in biologically female bodies due to the subcutaneous layer of fat.

If you don’t believe me, I encourage you to join any judo or jiu-jitsu dojo. Have fun learning how difficult throwing a five foot, ninety-pound girl can be. (Damn you, Kristen.)

The sexes aren’t as different as you’d like to believe. The real problem for you is your lack of self-confidence, especially when it comes to your masculinity. 

What does it matter that your ex believed she could overpower you? 

Why does the fact she had confidence in herself and her own abilities bother you? 

Why did it irritate or anger that she didn’t automatically acknowledge your (supposed) superiority? 

Why do you need to feel superior?

Healthy relationships are built on mutual regard, understanding, and respect. You obviously didn’t respect your partner’s passion for sports or see it’s value, so it’s not surprising you broke up. All girls who practice sports have heard the whiny bullshit about how they’re not as good as men, how their achievements are meaningless because they’re not men, and how they’ll always be second class. You’re not telling your ex or me anything we haven’t heard hundreds of times before. Thousands, probably.

You know who I never heard that bullshit from? My martial arts instructors. I’ve trained with a lot of men over the years and it never came up, not once. There was no, “boys are better.” They never needed to put down others, exert their superiority, or exclude in order to feel confident and comfortable with themselves. They didn’t need the clubhouse. And, honestly, neither do you.

Let it go.


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Considerations for Slaying a Dragon

Realistically, if One Person needed to defeat an approximately house sized, fire breathing Dragon, what weapons would they use? Medieval weapons of course, and Magic is definitely allowed.

I know that realistically it seems like an impossible task, and that’s part of it. A lot of people have died fighting this dragon, and this character is only capable of it because his rich father has been training him since he was little, so maybe that helps? (I’m trying my hand at subverting the ‘princess in a tower’ trope)

I honestly just don’t know how to handle this. Should I just say “Fuck It” and chuck whatever realism is left out the window? That’s kinda what I’ve been doing so far, as I’d just given him a sword a lot like the Buster Sword from Final Fantasy, but I thought I’d ask you anyway.

So, there’s a couple problems here. Let’s start with the dragon.

There is no concrete set of rules for dragons. Everything is particular to the story you’re looking at, or, in this case, writing. Giant, fire breathing, murder lizard only gets you so far. Dragons range from being just another wild animal to thinking beings with superhuman intellect, depending on the setting. Similarly, they range from being just another chunk of meat with a slightly crunchy exterior, to literally immortal and impossible to kill, with examples everywhere in between.

Obviously, there’s a bit of a difference between a story of someone hunting a mundane apex predator who’s been picking off professional game wardens, and someone trying to slay Jormungandr. These are entirely different genres of storytelling, and it’s not as simple as pinning down a size and saying, ‘it breathes fire.”

What are the best weapons? It depends on the dragon’s durability. Things like lances or ballistae are probably your best options, if they work at all. Of course, if the only weapon that can harm it is an enchanted letter opener, then you’d need to use that, and try to figure out a way around the limitations of it not having an edge, and only being a few inches long.

This feeds back into a different problem, and it’s not there already, but heading into dangerous territory. Magic is a cheat. When used carelessly, it will leach all of the tension from your story, and cause the entire thing to collapse. “Just kill the dragon with magic,” isn’t going to be a satisfying ending, and leaves you with the question, “why didn’t any of the last thirty would-be dragon hunters think of that?”

The more difficult that the magic is (by any meaningful metric), the less harm it will cause to your tension, and there is even potential for benefit. If your character is trying to find a magical means to dispatch the dragon, and that’s the core of their quest, it does go a long way towards why none of the previous hunters simply zapped that overgrown iguana out of the sky.

(I’m trying my hand at subverting the ‘princess in a tower’ trope)


There are times that I could gleefully shoot that website into the sun, and this one of those.

It can be a very useful when you’re trying to pull a work apart and see all the underlying thematic elements.

However, when you start looking at it like a shopping list, something is about to go very, very, wrong.

This is one of those times.

What you have is a rich, privileged kid, swooping in to save the day. That’s not a “subversion,” of a damsel in distress (of any form), that’s a version of Bruce Wayne’s superpower being his bank account.

TV Tropes is not a dictionary of narrative elements, it’s a thesaurus, and if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, should be avoided for the same basic reasons. Be especially cautious of picking a trope and trying to, “subvert,” or, “deconstruct,” it. Both are very popular in the Tropes community, but are exceedingly difficult to reverse engineer off a Tropes article.

An actual subversion of the damsel in distress would be the comic strip of a dragon that is casually executing would be rescuers because the princess isn’t interested in them, and the king’s posted reward is marrying her off.

Another, classic, subversion of the damsel in distress would be Princess Leia in A New Hope, and the host of imitators that followed over the next couple decades.

However, Batman is not a subversion of a damsel in distress. Not only because he’s male, but also because he’s not in distress.

I honestly just don’t know how to handle this. Should I just say “Fuck It” and chuck whatever realism is left out the window? That’s kinda what I’ve been doing so far, as I’d just given him a sword a lot like the Buster Sword from Final Fantasy, but I thought I’d ask you anyway.

I’m going to say something that will sound utterly bizarre: “Realistic” is what you make of it. It’s in how you create and justify your world.

This is also why that site can be useful. If you want a snapshot of all the different systems of magic used in fiction, it’s all in one place. Granted, some of it is going to be a bit distorted by fans, who are distracted by how awesome they think their favorite series is. But it is a quick place to start a lit review.

When you’re telling a story, you’re going to be influenced by the media you’ve consumed. That can be books, TV, video games, comic books, music. Very importantly, there isn’t a wrong answer here.

The world you create is boundless. If you want to tell a story about people swinging around implausibly massive swords, that’s an entirely valid option. You may want to find a way to justify it, or you might just want to run with it, and let the audience deal. It only becomes a problem if your world doesn’t support the idea.

Now, the Buster Sword is a visual motif. It’s not going to have the same effect in prose. Obviously, if you’re writing a webcomic or doing animation work, there’s a legitimate aesthetic in comically oversized weapons. If you want to go that route, there’s nothing wrong with it.

Similarly, greatswords are anachronistic in medieval settings, but most people won’t catch that, and it’s really something you only need to worry about if you’re chasing historical authenticity.

Finally, I would not discount spears. They’re extremely underrepresented in modern fantasy, but have a huge footprint in myth.

If your character’s quest is to find a mythic weapon to kill the dragon, that’s fine. You now have a very solid explanation for why that weapon is different from the world around it.


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